Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Our Son and Daughter-in-law are Searching for an Adoption Opportunity.

I’m posting today with the hope that a blog reader will know of a situation where a girl or woman with an unplanned pregnancy may be searching for the perfect adoptive parents for her child.

Our greatest hope this holiday season and beyond is for our son Talmadge and his wife Anita to find a baby to join their family. These two have experienced one sorrow after another in the past few years with three miserable miscarriages and three failed IVF procedures and have told been told that their only real hope for other children would be through adoption.

They have gone through all the long, arduous steps involved in the adoption process (those who have adopted will know what that means) and have their profile registered at adoption.com HERE  (for a story of their lives) and HERE (for weekly posts of their current life). Tal and Anita do have one adorable four year-old-daughter who is in great need of a younger sibling!

So far, even with their best efforts, including outreaches on Shawni’s and Charity’s blogs (which have given them a few leads), they have had no success. Their search for a mother who may be experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and looking for a better life than she can provide for her baby is ongoing.

You may think I don’t have a clue about the difficulties involved in giving up a child for adoption, but let me tell you a story about an unplanned pregnancy and adoption in my own family (with permission): Forty seven years ago, my then 19-year-old sister, while attending a University, became pregnant after a one-night stand  with a football player, who disappeared from her life upon hearing that she was pregnant.

Totally unequipped to be a single mother and knowing that the baby would be much better off with someone who could provide a secure and loving home, she did something that required a deep commitment and a pure love for her child. She decided to give her baby to a family that was better prepared to give her newborn what she needed and deserved. She knew her child would be going to a wonderful family who could give her daughter a life of love and stability and a much better chance to succeed than she could!  It was the hardest decision of her life. It required many months of struggling, deliberating and praying to know that what she was doing was the right thing to do, both for her and for her baby .

Fast forward forty seven years: My sister would now tell you that excruciating decision was also undoubtedly the right decision! Although it was a closed adoption at the time, she and her daughter have joyfully reconnected in the past few years. Both feel strongly that their lives were guided by a higher power and that both have lived the life that was meant for them. The adoption created the best possible outcome  for both of them! My sister went on to marry an extraordinary man and they have six remarkable children. Her daughter married a terrific guy and has five beautiful kids.

So here is our plea: if anyone out there knows of a mom with an unplanned pregnancy who may be willing to consider adoption or if you have had a stellar experience with an adoption agency, please contact Tal and Anita at familylookingtoadopt@gmail.com.  As you will see from the endorsements on their profile HERE, (you can skip mine as it’s very similar to the story above) you couldn’t find finer, more capable, engaging, fun, loving and committed parents!   



kms said...

Bio parents (not just bio mom) looking to place (not give) a child for adoption. The lingo and also the mindset has changed.

The complexities are really the ethics. There are a few horror stories out there. What we want to see is a couple married or single deciding to place a child with a particular family together with no pressure from bio family to place in a domestic placement. With no lying or misdirection or secret relocations. There is no need to reconnect since there is no reason to lose connection in adoption today for domestic. All us adoptive parents need to look into the face of our kids and say how they can to be in our family.

Can I suggest also looking into an international special needs program? There are a lot of kids in state care. I'm not talking feeing centers set up by NGOs. But kids in actual state care. Either they are free or the parents will be properly asked permission for the adoption to take place.

I wish them luck.

Jenny (also) said...

What a gorgeous picture of the glowing family of three at the end of this post! I wish them much luck.

Blandine said...

Your post is completely silent as to whether they want an open adoption, and how they handle ethic concernes in general. So even if you claim to know "about the difficulties involved in giving up a child for adoption", I am not convinced that you are truly standing for families that don't fully respect the mormon guidelines. I wish the best to your son and his family, but not at the expense of other parents and of the child who'd end up in between.